It is so amazing how God works sometimes. I knew all I needed to do was completely trust in Him, and that's all it took! I'm referring to the little blessing (or huge blessing) He has given us recently!
Back in Feb we decided to chuck the bc pills and try for a baby, even though we were recently married we had been together 6 years already and weren't getting any younger, WE felt that our life was stable and perfect to bring a baby into. I tracked and charted everything, as others around me became pregnant I became frustrated and every period that came every month came with more frustration and I knew I should be trusting the Lord, that He is in control yadda yadda...easier said than done I guess. I had fears that maybe something was wrong with either one of us and maybe I would be one who had to wait years to finally have my precious baby. Finally, in August I started my period for the 6th time since starting to try and I was more frustrated than ever, but I knew that obviously what I was doing wasn't working and maybe I really needed to hand it over to the Big Man, I had a half marathon coming up in a few weeks so I threw myself into training and being healthy. We had so much in September to look foreword to I was able to stay busy and distracted...This cycle I didn't track anything I didn't count anything, I didn't check any cervical mucous or position..this was all God I was done!
On the seventh cycle since starting to try for a baby I realized a few days before work that my usual routine of waking up having coffee and going to work without eating anything was causing me to feel slightly dizzy and sick to my stomach...but nothing majorly noticeable, I had no idea when I was supposed to start my period as I wasn't tracking anything this month, but I figured what could it hurt I would just take a test for the heck of it...but I was so scared, I had learned that the best way to make your period come sooner was to take a pregnancy test, so I did, I just wanted to get it over with. That thing was so faint at first I thought it was negative but then when it dried there was the faintest line I could only see if I held it up to sunlight just so. I figured it was an evap line from letting the test dry. I went to work, and of course googled the crap out of super faint lines.
The next day(Sept 16, 2010) I thought I would be brave and take a digital test, I had heard those need a higher level of Hcg to detect a positive but i just wanted to give it a shot, what did I have to lose. whelp sure enough!!
I really was just in disbelief...was this seriously real, I think I paced through the apartment a million times and kept walking back to look at the test, I seriously couldn't believe it!! Unfortunately the hubby was at work and I had to go to work as well so I had to keep this a secret as there is no way I was going to text him this crazy big news!!
I took more tests the next day, you know just to make sure and I asked my manager to take me off the schedule since our census was low. I knew they were cancelling nurses anyways and holy moly I could not go four days knowing this and not telling the hubby, due to our work schedules I would not have seen him for 4 days!! So on the third day I told him, which will come with another post :)
The month I finally let go and let God be TOTALLY in control was the month I got pregnant. He knew this was the perfect time in our Life. Being due in late May (May 25, 2011 to be exact) was perfect for us, we were already planning to buy a house in Feb or March, the hubby is hoping to get a promotion come spring, and I have always wanted to be pregnant in the winter/spring months. God knows what He is doing, and I love when things like this happen as more reassurance why I need him in my life. I know in the big scheme of things 7 months of trying is not much at all, some people try for years and still cant get pregnant on their own, for me it felt like an eternity and I feel so blessed beyond all recognition that it took us ONLY 7 months.
