Little White Cloud

So apparently I have a white cloud following me at work.

This would be great, awesome, fantastic, heavenly.... IF I wasnt on oreintation with only about 2 weeks left to go before I'm on my own. Now is the time when I need crazy drama so I can learn how to deal with such situations as dying patients, patients with urgent and critical needs which require quick thinking and fast reactions. I have a preceptor overlooking all I do my, safety net to fall back on, the table I can crawl under when things go bad... HOWEVER, this little white cloud is getting in the way.

When I get to work I get report and get completely overhwelmed and somewhat excited thinking of all that could happen the learning experience I will have and then things go heavenly, babies get stable I sit on my rear and watch the paint dry as the hours tick by oh so slowly.

Now dont get me wrong some days are busy but not with anything other than many small tasks that need completed by X hour.

SO this is my prediction In about 2 or 3 weeks I will be on my own, my preceptor will be cozy in her bed at home and all hell is gonna break loose with my patients and I will not have her to fall back on for reasurance that what Im doing is right or ok, so I think I need to stop praying for a good night, or start praying for a bad night simply so I can have one or two experiences of craziness so when Im on my own I dont totally freak out and have a heart attack. Tonight I'll be taking care of a 23 week preemie who was born last night... in lamens terms very unstable fetus ...more to come.