Big Brother

The beginning was trying on us all and I shed more tears out of mom guilt than I anticipated I would.  When I was in the hospital with L2 I found myself more concerned with L1 and how was he at home and when I was there in the hospital bed exhausted and frustrated with my crying newborn, all I could think about was going home and curling up with my sweet firstborn.

Those early days I just felt so guilty when he would act out or cry because he wanted me to hold him or do something for him and I couldn't.  It hurt my heart when he would cry because he just wanted me to sit in the room with him…but not with the baby.  I knew this was just an adjustment phase but the feeling that I ruined his little life was imprinted on my mind.  There was one day when he wouldn't nap and that evening he fell asleep in my arms while I rocked him early in the evening because he just wanted me to hold him.  He never falls asleep when I hold him anymore and he rarely wants me to just sit and hold him.  I sat there staring at his mile long lashes and amazingly full lips and just cried.   never wanted that moment to end and I just wanted him to know he will always be my most special boy because he was my firstborn, the boy who made me a mommy.  The boy we tried and prayed for for longer than I imagined we would have to.

Now, I think his little world would be ruined if we took his brother away.  He is absolutely in love with his "baby brudder." I could watch them together all day.  L will be playing on the other side of the room and randomly stop and come over just to give L2 a kiss.  I find myself saying " don't touch his face, don't squish him, don't lay on him" more than I can count in a day.  He wants to be with his brother all day.  He will get frustrated if baby brudder is crying because he wants me to lay him down so he can play with him.  He loves to share his trucks with him.  The cutest thing is he will grab his face and say "cheeks, cheeks" while squishing his cheeks.  I have no idea where he learned that but it kills me every time!

He is such a sweet and caring big brother, he loves to wipe the spit up and try to feed him bottles and give him a paci.  Any time he cries he will run over and pat his head and say "whats wrong baby, why you cryin?"

I love watching them together because I know they are going to be best buddies more so than they already are when they are older and I see the relationship my hubby has with his brothers and I love that L will have that as well.

I shouldn't have been worried as I knew L would adjust like a champ as he has done with all his major milestones up to this point, it was just so hard in the moment.

L2 Month One

How on earth my little guy is already a month old is beyond me! I seriously feel like just yesterday we brought him home from the hospital.  I guess the adjustments of life with 2 and the holidays just put life on fast foreword.

The first month was not an easy one.  To be honest I am glad its behind us now.  I think the first month of life with any newborn is not easy but we had some issues that I had a really hard time dealing with and we are honestly still dealing with them Ive just had more time to process everything.  No worries, its nothing life threatening just more emotional than anything.  I really want to dedicate a whole post to the matter because its quite extensive in all its entirety.

My lil guy is getting so big! At the conclusion of month one he has become quite the little chunk and I love it! There is nothing I love more than a chunky little baby!!

We celebrated his first christmas this month and while he could care less about any of it, we all had a great time just relaxing and enjoying family.

Big brother is IN LOVE, it is all we can do to keep him out of his brothers face.  I just love that they are already buddies and I can't wait to see their love and friendship grow in the future.

He has started to smile and he smiles all the time, not the reflexive smiling, this is true social smiling, when any of us starts to talk to him he lights up with the biggest grin! His first smile was at two weeks old and he really is just such a happy baby!

The ceiling fan is his favorite and he could stare at it for ever, when we turn it on briefly so it moves…his mind is blown!!

He is out of newborn clothes {Tear} and fits well into 0-3 months.  He is much bigger than L1 was at this age, it will be interesting to see if he continues to be bigger.

He eats anywhere from 2.5-4 ounces every 2-3 hours and at night on most nights I can get a good 4 hour stretch at the beginning, after that though its back to every two hours which means once I pump and go back to sleep he is up in an hour…its quite exhausting!

And just for a fun little comparison because people always ask if I think L2 looks like his older brother:

L2's Birth Story

Im going to preface this by saying if birth stories or bodily functions aren't your thing you may want to move along...

Our sweet second son was born in the early morning hours on November 26.  He was 4 days past his due date and each day that passed and he was still inside we became more and more anxious and ready to meet him.  I tried every old wives tale in the book to try and get him out, he had his own plan and when he was ready boy was he ready!

I went to bed the same as any other night wondering if this would be the night he would decide to make his debut.  Around midnight, I was woken up by some moderate contractions that felt like bad menstrual cramps and I started to time them, they were 2-4 minutes apart…from the start.  I laid in bed for about an hour and around 1 AM they were becoming such that I no longer could just lay in bed.  I didn't wake up the hubby because I thought this could go on for hours so why not just let him rest.  I went to the living room and sat on an exercise ball and watched Real Housewives of Atlanta and debated folding some laundry to pass some time.  The contractions though became pretty intense to the point that I couldn't really focus on the show and decided around 2 AM to go wake up the Hubby and inform him of what was happening and that I was going to take a bath to maybe help the pain.  I was having to focus on breathing through them at this point and while the bath did help, things became very intense very quickly.  The contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and lasting about a minute or minute and half at this point. I knew that seemed close and they seemed pretty powerful but once again I was induced and had an epidural the first time so I really just thought this is how things were for a good while...

At 254 I texted the hubby from the tub to call our Doula.  He called her and she was quite hesitant that we wanted her to meet us at the house, she asked him three times as she lives an hour away and we live 40 minutes from the hospital.  He told me that she kept asking him if we wanted her to meet us at the house and we both thought that maybe she was telling us we were too early in labor and needed to wait as I had barely been in labor for 3 hours.  She told us to call back when we saw any bloody show or felt pressure.  well…no sooner did he get off the phone with her and relayed the message to me I turned around in the tub and saw blood…he called her back to let her know and I told him he also needed to call the doctor.

The doctor told us to get to the hospital immediately and we called the Doula back to tell her to meet us at the hospital.  By this point it was 3AM and the contractions were such that my body was shaking and all I could do was focus on breathing through them.  Things were happening FAST we jumped in the car and rushed to the hospital.  

We live about 40 minutes from the hospital but also live right by a toll road that takes us straight in to the hospital, its almost always vacant especially at 3AM.  The hubby was driving about 90 mph and once we exited to the road that takes us in to the hospital he ran Every. Single. Red-light which we got every light red of course.

I could not sit all the way down in the car and no sooner did we get in the car I had the intense urge to push…By this point I couldn't even tell you about the pain because all I could think about and focus on was breathing to resist the urge to push…I was not going to have a baby in a car!!  The thing though is if your body wants to push it will I felt something coming out, it wasn't a head though and I really started to freak out.  I was a mess!! Poor hubby was probably having a heart attack too!

We pulled up to the valet at the hospital and got up to the triage floor, by this point I was a screaming freaking out mess because I knew this baby was coming…and fast…when we checked in at the desk it was now 354…

I got in to the triage room, they informed me that what I felt was my intact bag of water which was on its way out…they got me on the bed and within seconds there was about 8 nurses and 4 doctors.  Someone finally realized the hubby was still not there and ran to get him. He got in the room as I was starting to push, I pushed twice and he was here!!! The time was 359!  I barely remember them putting him on my chest and seeing him for the first time, I think I was kind of in shock at this point.

The whole birth process was such a whirlwind, I couldn't believe things happened so fast!  It really was surreal, I had always heard of people having fast labors and had always wished for such but as the whole thing was playing out I really just couldn't believe this is how MY labor was unfolding.

After the fact, they took me to a delivery room and cleaned me up, started an IV and then did all the admission paperwork hehe.

There were several things that had God written all over them, truly God's hand was in this birth.  If it had been any other time of day, we would have been in traffic or there would have been too many cars on the road to drive 90 mph and run every red light, we ran right past a cop in our neighborhood, he didn't stop us, The weather was horrible it was raining and there was so much water on the road its a miracle we didn't hydroplane and crash.  The fact that it was a mere 9 minutes from when we pulled in to valet until L was born, if we had stopped at any red lights or hit any traffic whatsoever he would have surely been born in the car!

 I really wanted an unmedicated natural delivery hence why we hired a doula…I certainly got my unmedicated delivery and just knowing I did it all on my own without even the help of a doula is so empowering.

Even to this day, I can't believe I am no longer pregnant and that our sweet second son is here! I still can't believe how fast he came! 

Five on Friday::New Introductions

I have definitely neglected this space over the last month and half or so, life has just been crazy between working and getting ready for our new bundle.  I plan to be back though and have lots of things to share!

{ONE}
I thought I would jump back in to blogging by introducing to you our new sweet addition! 
Meet our sweet L2, he came in a hurry on Nov 26, I will reserve a special post for his birth story because its quite a story! He was 8 lbs even and 21 inches, slightly bigger than his big brother was at birth!

{TWO}

LIfe has definitely been an adjustment to say the least! I seriously forgot how little newborns sleep at night and how often they want to nurse!

{THREE}

We brought him home the wednesday before thanksgiving which was a huge blessing, I hate staying in the hospital so one night was enough for us!! I simply adore his coming home outfit, its so sweet and the material is SOO soft!! 

{FOUR}

His game day outfit for last weekends game when our school UTSA played LA Tech.  My friend gifted us this onesie and the bow tie comes off and is interchangeable.  

{FIVE}

Big bro L has been loving his "baby brother" He loves to kiss him and help me pick him up, its cute how affectionate he is towards him.  We have been having some attachment issues where he wants to be with me and have me hold him and do everything for him all the time.  Were trying to find the balance which I know will come with time.  I will say though I am loving my extra big boy cuddles!!

Five on Friday

I can't believe we are here on another Friday!! I'm so looking foreword to this weekend so lets get started!!

My mom (in the middle) who I think is pretty awesome is graduating from her Masters program this weekend!! I am so proud of her and can't wait to celebrate this accomplishment with her this weekend!! This was us in April at the Nike Women's Half Marathon in DC...and a little 10 week old Baby L2 :) Considering this was POST race don't my mom and Gram look awesome?!

We met with our Doula this past week...I feel like such a crunchy granola using one, but I really think she will be a key player and HUGE support for my desire to have this baby au-natural this go round.  She is so calm and gentle in her demeanor I really am looking foreword to working with her!

We haven't made too much more progress on Project Nursery... While me and L are out of town this weekend the hubby will have a little to do list of things he needs to get done so I can finish cleaning, organizing and decorating. I know what we have left to do wont take long but knowing that we only have 4 weeks tops is starting to freak me out!!!

Our neighborhood had their annual pumpkin festival and we decided to try and beat the rain and go.  L had a great time this year and even rode the little pony without crying! He could have browsed the pumpkins all day.  They had some food trucks out there and we ate at this one called Bernie's Burger Bus and it was amazing!!  The weather is finally starting to cool of a bit here and its amazing!!

Two of my best friends and sorority sisters threw me the most precious shower last weekend.  I want to dedicate a whole post to that because all the food and decorations were just so cute! Im so thankful and blessed to have such sweet girls in my life!!!

33 weeks

Who am I? Two posts in one day?! I know its crazy but I am actually 34 weeks today so I wanted to get this post up before I've missed my opportunity.  

I can't believe I am already 33 weeks, I honestly still feel like I am in the 2nd trimester and am maybe in a bit of denial that I only have 42ish days left!

I have been feeling great and for the most part haven't even been that tired, until about 9pm then I get tired and want to just lay down.  I have had some crazy hip pain on the right side and I think its because little man loves to lay on the right side...like all. the. time! The good news is as of my last apt at 32 weeks he is still head down so I am praying he stays put! That in itself has made this stage of the pregnancy very different from last time.  Im not used to feeling so many feet kicks because with L1 they were all bladder/cervix kicks which hurt like crazy! Now I get to feel his little feet stretching out its so fun.  The downside though is his head on my bladder makes me have to pee ( or think I have to) any time I go from sitting to standing or vice versa hah.

We took a tour of the hospital and I am loving it so much more than the last place I delivered.  It helps that the unit is only a year and a half old but it is also very family friendly and I am hoping we have a fantastic birth experience there.

We hired a Doula this time around and we have our prenatal appointment with her this week.  I am so excited about this, we met her when we interviewed/hired her and have been in contact since but this will be our big meeting and then we just wait for the big day!!

Five on Friday

We are making great progress on the nursery!! A little sneak peak, all the walls are done and curtains, now we just need to put furniture together, clean out the closet and put things in their place! Im so excited and happy with how things are coming together.

How cute are these little outfits?! I have been doing some shopping for baby boy and can't wait for spring to roll around so he can wear these precious little clothes! 

I feel like between work and getting things in our house in order its been nuts around here lately.  This guy has been so hilarious and sweet through all the crazy.  I feel like his vocabulary has exploded in the last two weeks and he is always cracking me up with the things he says these days.  He had just eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in this picture and was being silly before I had to run off to work.

According to my countdown app I have 42 days to go!! Thats so hard to fathom for me because the end of November seems so far away! I know with how busy our schedule is in the next month it is going to fly by!! We really still have a lot to do but thankfully this pregnancy has been nice to me and really has been a breeze so far which is a huge blessing in so many ways. I did my 33 week update here...I know two posts in one day...who am I?!

Tomorrow some sweet friends are throwing me a baby shower, or is it a sprinkle when its baby #2? Either way, Im so so grateful for them to offer to do this and so excited to see so many friends I haven't seen in so long!