I'm Back

I have been missing from here lately, not sure why, I guess I've just been unmotivated or lazy, I have thoughts swimming in my head just waiting to be written but I just have not had the oomph to sit down and unload them. So I decided to come back, to be more dedicated, to unloading all those swimming thoughts.

Some updates on a few things...

Work has been going very well, at first I guess I didn't come here to write because things were frustrating and hard, and I had no desire to whine about it because all it needed was time to get better. And it has, I have very much surprised myself with my abilities at work, prior to now I would walk past these very sick babies and hear stories of these very sick babies and could only dream of ever being capable of caring for them. My old job was so redundant that I felt I didn't use many brain cells to get through my 12 hour shifts, there was not much of a challenge which I wanted so bad... Now, I use every brain cell in my brain and some days still leave feeling like I have no clue what I'm doing, like what have I gotten myself into. But, I have taken care of babies I would only "dream" of being competent enough to deal with. Babies I would look at before and think how the heck do you make sense of all the pumps and lines and drips and tubes, and now, I am feeling more comfortable with it all and I'm feeling more like I know what I'm doing. Mind you I am not alone I have an amazing preceptor to guide me and make sure I don't do anything to harm anyone as I learn, and I also have a great God as my strength to get me through those times when I think I am so dumb and just need to quit immediately.

Don't get me wrong its still tough and always will be, some days I go to my car and cry because I'm overwhelmed or frustrated, but I also have days that I go to my car and Praise God I was able to accomplish what I did, And the day that I go to work and think I know it all is the day I need to find a new line of work because I will never know it all, no one will, and I think having a desire to learn and seek out information is vital. But for now I can say again that I love my job which a month ago I honestly could not say.

As for the crazy dog... He is still crazy.

We have started obedience training and it has gone very well so far, he has surprised me with his abilities. We are working on stay, leave it, and shake. Its only week two and I couldn't have imagined he would do this good so early in the game but hes not perfect and still acts like a puppy at times which drives me crazy... his latest is he thinks whenever I sit on the couch he needs to sit on my lap, which is not my idea of fun considering he's 85 lbs, and he likes to bite our feet which HURTS!!! Its going to take time to break him of these things because when we scold him he thinks it means do it more... not sure why... we squirt him with water and use stern voices but so far not so good on that front, only time will tell.