Monday, February 25, 2013

Enough is OK

It is something I have always struggled with and it waxes and wanes at different times in my life but lately it has really been something affecting me.  Its the internal struggle of accepting that enough is good enough.  That sometimes its ok to just accept the way things are and let it be.

I am a perfectionist, I always have been.
At times I am good about letting go and accepting good enough, but for some reason lately I haven't been.

I had a quiet moment the other day and realized that the majority of my awake hours were not spent just living in the moment but trying to achieve more, get more, clean more, thus causing me to worry more.

One area in particular that really got to me was realizing how little I had actually sat down and played with L that day and the day prior.  I started to worry that maybe I don't ever play with him enough, maybe he feels like I ignore him, maybe I need to be doing this that or the other more.  The moment that I realized how little I had spent playing with him we were sitting at his little table and coloring.  Talking about the colors, and switching colors back and forth.  My attention was fully on him and he was so happy.  Thats when I realized that I have been horrible lately about trying to multi-task everything and not really fully dedicate myself to anything completely.

It was really an awakening moment.  My weekly reading for my "book club" I attend where we are reading through the new testament ( a really cool book I will discuss in another post) made me realize that God doesn't care if my house is perfect or I complete my to do list or buy the perfect outfits.  It made me realize that to God I am enough just the way I am and that by toiling away trying to improve everything not only are the other relationships in my life at stake most importantly my relationship with Him is at stake.  Confession... I am almost two weeks behind on my bible study homework... I was doing so good and then BAM got swept away with these perfectionist desires and fell so far behind that now I am so overwhelmed by it (perfectionist once again) its so hard to get back into it.  I know I just need to start at the current location and go back to catch up as I can.  Its hard though.

I really had a break down the other day feeling like a horrible mom, wife, etc because I realized how much time and energy I was wasting on unimportant things.  I was getting upset over a dirty house or things left undone.  It almost reminded me of the Mary and Martha story in the bible, it kind of hit me like a slap in the face.

I need to slow down,
pare down my to do list,
just let go and be ok with enough.

The best thing is I know God's Mercies are new each morning.
I know each day is a fresh start.

We had a message at church once talking about life's craziness and how we pack our life so full there are no margins and the margins are where relationships grow.  If we pack or life so full that the margins are small our relationships cant grow.

I have had this on my mind a lot.
I have started to accept that the pile of laundry is ok.
The few dirty dishes and unfinished projects are ok.

I have made a conscious effort to shut off the TV more and just BE, just be present and play with L and just be present in the Word everyday.
Its a balance I need to figure out

Its a work in progress, but God has made it aware in my mind and I think thats the first step to changing.

Source: via Zoe on Pinterest

Monday, February 18, 2013

A Tale of Life's Unfairness

Two years ago today one of my best friends lost her fight with Leukemia.  It seems like just yesterday I was 7 months pregnant trying to make it to her funeral..which I missed, thanks to US Airways and their HORRIBLE customer service.  We were pregnant with our babies at the same time, it was so fun comparing stories and sharing the excitement even if it was her third and my first baby.  

Yep, she was pregnant.
It wasn't fair, the whole thing just wasn't fair and makes no sense.
I still remember the text she sent me that night she was diagnosed, she was going to the ER with what she thought was a bad sinus infection, she had a bad headache and went to the ER for something for pain and relief from what she thought was a sinus infection.
Then I got a text a few hour later saying she was being sent by ambulance to a bigger hospital because the blood work they drew showed she had leukemia.  I had just visited her a month before and she was fine.

She left us just 6 months from when she was diagnosed.
She left a husband and two sweet babies.
I still think of her all the time, when something fun, exciting, hard or whatever happens and I want to call or text her, then remember I can't.
Anytime I see a beautiful ray of sun or a sunset thats breathtaking, I think of CC

She was such a free spirit and never cared what anyone thought. We had so much fun together and it ended far too soon. She really was a beautiful person

I cant wait till the day when we can dance together in heaven
I know she is looking down on us

A Boy and his Boots

This past weekend we got L some boots, we had been wanting to get him some for a while but while daddy was pickign out his I went and found some for L that were so cute!

They are a little big on him right now but he will grow in to them, I just think they are the cutest thing!!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Family Time

This past weekend, my mom and brother came into town.  My brother doesn't get to see L often because of his job so it was such a treat when we were finally able to nail down a date for him to come visit, and of course my mom came along because it doesn't take much convincing to get her into town :)

 It was a low key visit, we didn't have a lot planned which was nice.  The weather was pretty crappy but we took advantage and got out for a walk or two at least.

We had planned to go to the Zoo and if it was rainy our back up plan was the children's museum.  Well, it was rainy and the Children's Museum was closed! Major fail, we were so disappointed!!

We ended up enjoying a delicious lunch at Katz's Deli, one of our favorite places that since we don't live in the city anymore we don't really get to enjoy.  If your in Houston you should check it out, they have THE BEST fried pickles and a huge menu!!

I wish I could have taken more pictures, we really had such a great time, I wish they lived closer so these visits were more frequent!!

LSU Sandwich, or Mardi Gras Spirit!!

L with silly Uncle J

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valentine's Day 2013

This year for Valentine's Day was spent pretty low key.  Hubby had to work and since I was off I thought we would pick up Chipotle and have a dinner date with daddy at his work.

We had a good meal and then L had a blast walking around the store pretending to be daddy.

My family, my heart

 My two boys, the loves of my life

L was cracking us up walking around the store with daddy's phone! He knows how to use it!!

I hate that this picture and most of the others are blurry but I just think they are so cute!!

Although this was a low key v-day it was fun and filled with love which really is all that matters, we exchanged gifts with each other L got a basket of fun goodies, I got a really pretty necklace and ring from James Avery, and Daddy got some boots just in time for Rodeo season!!

Hope you had a good Valentines Day!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

So What Wednesday

So What Wednesday

This week I am saying So What if...

  • There are dishes in the sink still from yesterday, I am the only one that does them and I need a break!
  • My child plays on the iPad more than he "should"...who determines that limit anyway? 
  • We have pajama days more often than not.  I really don't see the point of dirtying a clean outfit just to sit around the house, pajamas are more comfy anyhow
  • I have a major sweet tooth, I may be skinny fat but as long as my lab work stays good and I exercise life is too short to not indulge
  • We have been letting L stay up a bit later than usual these days, I am ok with it because he has consistently been sleeping till 9 am
  • I could not bring myself to pay the $48 it would cost to order a King Cake from my favorite NOLA "dealer" I made my own regular cake 
  • Finally...SO WHAT if said cake is already half gone and I made it last night!!!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Heaven in a Bottle

There are some serious perks to having a hubby in the grocery industry and one that works at an upscale store at that.  Tonight he brought home this wine that they had been sampling at his store earlier that day.

Let me tell you, if you like sweet wine and you like chocolate this is for you!

Its served room temp and is a red wine, its definitely a desert wine and very sweet.

It was brought to my attention by a sweet friend that the website has Chocolate Strawberry and upon that realization I went to check the website, holy wine heaven!

I am dying to try the Sparkling Chocolate Red Wine too!!

I hope I can find this locally or else I am going to have to fork over the extra cash to order it online!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Landon Lately::20 Months

I know every month I think the same thing but this month has truly been so much fun! 

Sweet guy you have definitely entered into the "Terribly Two's" early as we have seen tantrums around these parts more than I would like to admit.  I know its normal but it can be very trying at times.  Usually if I ignore you and leave the room you stop.

 To say you love to be outside would be an understatement! Now that you talk more we hear "ouside!!!" quite often! Thankfully the weather has been gorgeous lately and we can go outside a lot.  Watching for squirrels and airplanes are your favorite past times.

 Your appetite has increased tenfold this month! We are so blown away by how much you eat sometimes.  I love it but it means your going to grow way too fast! You LOVE Chick-Fil-A nuggets, eggs, and fruit to name just a few.

You speak so well these days.  You say so many words it really surprises us.  You like to ask for a "Dink" even if you aren't thirsty and at the grocery store today you kept saying "Want One" in regards to a fruit packet.  Some words you love to say lately are Grapes, Cup, Airplane, Squirrel, Keegan (our cat), Cat, Outside, Drink, Eat, Car, Poe (nickname for the iPad), and Ton Ton (his favorite show Chuggington) to name a few.

You have started to learn how to take clothes off and get so angry with us when we put clothes on you.  Many times we get you in the morning to find you have unzipped your pj's.  You also took your diaper off in your sleep during nap the other day.  I let you keep napping and you slept for over 3 hours! Your sheets were wet but thats an easy fix.  More than anything you just had me laughing so much at the situation!!

You are so easy to laugh and smile which I love about you the most, Your smile lights up any room and your laugh is music to my ears! You love to cuddle with mommy and watch TV with daddy.  Your so curious which gets you into trouble at times but often just makes us laugh!

Love you so much sweet boy cant believe you will be 2 in less than 4 months!!!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Grandfatherly Love

This past weekend L had the opportunity to spend some quality time with his PopPop.  I just love seeing these two together.  

I dont know if its because my own father situation was slightly askew but watching  them together just makes me so happy.  Their relationship is so sweet.

I love to see how L can simply be present and lights up his PopPop's whole being.

I love to see how excited L gets when he sees his PopPop. He talks and talks telling him all about something, only time will allow us to know what he is trying to tell him.  He follows him everywhere.

My hopes are that these two will remain inseparable, I know L will only continue to look up to his PopPop.  He will have so much fun going to grandpa's house as he gets older because PopPop knows where all the fun places in San Antonio are for kids as he drives the school bus for field trips.  He also has a deep love of sports that will hopefully tighten their bond as L gets older and involved in sports as well.

God has truly blessed L with such a great guy for his PopPop a man of God with so much wisdom and knowledge.

I had a close relationship with my grandparents as well and I am just so blessed that L has two sets of amazing grandparents involved in his life.
I'm Katie a 27 year old mommy and wife. Welcome to my blog where I will chronicle the happenings of my life as I find the balance between being both SAHM by day and CVICU nurse by night.

I love Jesus and strive to be more like Christ every day. Running, reading, and cooking are some of my favorite past-times. I love photography but I am no pro, but it helps I have such a cute subject to practice on!!




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