The Drama

So as I mentioned in my previous post we have had some serious breastfeeding drama...Serisously I new it could be challenging but never could have imagined how frustrating it could be.  Its good I am so determined to make it work or I would have given up already.  I cannot even tell you how frustrated I have become at times, the feeling that your baby is rejecting you and you cant figure out what to do to help your baby is a horrible feeling, I dreaded feeding time when it should be a time for bonding and happiness, luckily Hubby has been pretty supportive and as time goes on things seem to be slowly improving. This is a wordy post but I found great comfort in reading blogs and message boards of people going through the same things so I am writing this all down.

When I was in the hospital when I had a readily available lactation consultant things were great, Baby L was properly latched (or so it appeared) and eating, peeing, and pooing like he should.  fast foreword to day 5or 6.

Around day 5 or 6 He started doing this thing where he would latch on start eating and then start screaming, arching, crying...basically a full on meltdown.  After doing this for a while and continually trying to latch on then having a meltdown he would sometimes chill out and finish eating or would just not be able to settle down and I would give him a bottle with pumped milk.   He didn't do this with every feed but did with most to the point that some feedings just putting him in the position to latch on would cause the meltdowns.  I did a crap load of googling and also called a local La Leche League person and determined that I probably have a strong let down that scarred him once and now he is spooked by it basically.  So she gave me some things to try such as feeding him in an uphill position so his nose is above the nipple and I have even tried pumping for like a minute before feeding him which really seems to help.

Then I developed severe burning pain in my nipples and would last long after feedings and even had random shoots of pain through the breast...so I went in to the Dr around day 10 and was diagnosed with a yeast infection...this is a major pain in the rear to deal with, you have to boil all pump parts, pacifiers, nipples etc in a vinegar solution, your not supposed to use breast pads (i still do just change them all the time), you have to wash and change anything that comes in to contact with the breasts often and in hot water, including hand towels blankets etc.  I also was put on an oral anti fungal and a topical cream as well as having to treat L with nystatin that is swabbed in his mouth 4 times a day.  All the hassle on top of the fact that its extremely painful

Around day 14 I started feeling feverish and chilled and not so hot and then the next day noticed two red areas on my breasts and some very sore areas...enter Mastitis...back to the dr which mind you is an hour away from our house so its a major production to get me and baby all ready and out the door to get to an apt in time.  So I am also on antibiotics now.

I was also noticing that when L would finish feeding my nipple would be a squished shape like a tube of lipstick...at first I thought this was normal and thought nothing of it, after some googling I realized this is not normal and is a result of L not latching properly.  So I tried all I could to fix it myself but had no luck as I was also dealing with his screaming fits and if I could just get him to suck in any way then we were in a good place.  I made an apt with a Lactation Consultant...

Of course during our meeting L displayed to the LC how he has meltdowns at several feedings a day.  I think she was in disbelief that I was dealing with this and hadn't given up yet!!  She helped me with his positioning and made me realize that he doesn't always put his tongue forward and suck as he should and is basically "chewing" which doesn't help him get milk out and is of course not comfortable for me... I go back tomorrow for a follow up and to see what progress we have made...which is little in my opinion.

I have also noticed I am having vasospasms in my nipples I think partly due to the medication I am on and also possibly due to his poor latching/sucking...its pretty painful but I have started taking B6 and am hoping once the medication is done and as time goes on this will resolve.

Where we stand now...He still does the chewing thing and squishes my nipple when he eats... he is getting better and will pull his tongue foreword more often and fingers crossed in the past 24 hours have had no major meltdowns with feedings...Basically what the LC said was what I was doing was basically all right and he just demonstrates some immaturities with feeding and the things he does often will fix themselves with time.